Yesterday was one of those days where I hoped it wouldn't end simply because I would have to get up the following morning. Nothing overly awful occurred. A lot of compounding situations and feelings contributed to the dourness. My grandmother's sickness and pain hurts and saddens me, the potential for infection in my horse's wound worries me, questions about my future make me anxious, and the fallen state of the world causes me to grieve on behalf of God. Thankfully, Jesus Christ's sacrifice on the cross absolves us from our sins and allows us to walk with Him. Hallelujah!
So, 82% of myself was trying to be miserable while the remaining 18% meekly, but persistently, attempted to show me my irrationality. Thus, I wasn't given over to despair, and was frustrated I couldn't have a consistent internal feeling. Cooking didn't help. I could not pray. Music annoyed. With daylight fading rapidly, I took a break from my cooking and drove to the barn to clean up Black Jack's face. On the drive there, my negative and self-degrading thought processes continued until I arrived at the barn in tears. As I opened my door, I smiled a bit ruefully at the sound of children laughing. I quickly forgot their joy. But then, as I walked towards the pastures, Black Jack surprised me by coming up to the fence, greeting me even before I called him. His eagerness to see me didn't affect me immediately, but as I cared for his injury and felt his sweet, willing-to-please attitude, my foul mood began to dissipate.
This demonstrated far more to me than the fact I love my horse and he makes me happy. His soft expressions and eager desire to spend some time with me proves the power of a smile and honesty. Too often I find myself hiding my emotions because I feel they aren't socially appropriate for me to express. If I am happy to see someone, I should convey that. If a person is down, a genuine smile could brighten his or her day. I also need to not fear initiating communication with others. I seldom do initiate--even if I really want to talk to that person--because I am afraid of being a bother: if he or she wants to talk to me, he or she will. If he or she doesn't want to talk, I will content myself with watching and waiting. When put in writing, I see how flawed this thinking is. In practice, I know that if Black Jack hadn't come to the fence to greet me, hadn't been preemptive in his showing his appreciation of my company, I would have been stuck in furthering my morbidity. People want to know they are valued, liked, loved. And one of the ways I can show I value, like, and love them and their company is through my actions: greeting someone with a smile, meeting and greeting someone at the door, and simply going out of my way to let them know I am here for them if they need it. Conveying appreciation is important, even if I do not know the person all that well. Christians are to be mirrors of Christ and His love. Despite our falleness, God loves and values us so much, He sent His Son to live, die, and rise again so we can be with Him forever. If my smile and pleasant greeting can brighten a person's day, whether friend or stranger, and make them feel special, then I am pleased to give them a taste of what God's love can do for them. What is more appropriate than that?
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