Ravi Zacharias's I, Isaac, Take Thee, Rebekah

I, Isaac, Take Thee, Rebekah: Moving from Romance to Lasting Love by Ravi Zacharias

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


Rating: 3.5 stars--I liked it, but it just was not as good as it should have been.



Generally Speaking: While working through Focus on the Family's The Truth Project, I became aquainted with Ravi Zacharias. I found him to be brilliant, intelligent, and insightful. I decided to rediscover the public library and borrow some books on a variety of subjects. I borrowed two by Zacharias and one edited by him. When I picked this one out, I was expecting it to be a commentary on Old Testament culture. When I got it home, I read the subtitle: "Moving from Romance to Lasting Love." Oh. I decided to read it since I had been contemplating reading some books on the subject of love and marriage anyway. So, I eagerly began reading this book...and was pretty much disappointed until I reached the second half.



My beef: I had hoped this book would enlighten me on the subject of how to grow a "romantic relationship" from one of mere attraction to one of lasting love. Except for a few quotable moments, the first three chapters of this book (it has 7) could be summarized into one sentence. "Marriage is more about your resolve to stick together than romantic feelings." I felt that Zacharias was saying it didn't matter who you married, or if you even liked the person, much less loved them. If you were willing to dedicate yourself to making it work, it would work no matter what. Now, this is not necessarily bad advice. If a person goes into marriage with the mindset it will be all sunshine and roses, they are just plain wrong. I'd like to think that my marriage to someone I loved would have a better chance than one with some random guy I just met on the street. But I digress. Zacharias does bring up the point how finding the favor of God your relationship is important. But he repeats the "all that matters is determination" mindset to the point of losing all his other points. Perhaps this focus is because he grew up in an Indian culture where arranged marriages are common (his marriage was not an arranged one, though). The dedication needed to have a successful marriage in that situation is great indeed! I imagine the Western view of lovestruck marriages with cherubs singing and puppies frolicing in meadows looks silly to him. Perhaps he felt we needed his point drilled into our heads. If that was is goal, he achieved it.



The Good Parts: After we got into the later chapters of the book (particularly the last two), it became apparant Zacharias does have a romantic bone in his body! He also dealt more with the actual romance of Rebekah and Isaac, drawing the parallels which I had waited for the whole book. He also included a lovely hymn at the end to reiterate his point about God being the ultimate one to consult in your relationship. Zacharias also talks about the things one should do in his or her life to prepare for marriage and to be ready for marriage and life: a prayer life, an ongoing personal Bible study, and being involved in a local church. But that was an odd thing about this book. For it supposed to be about love and marriage, there was a large focus on how to live a personal Christian life. Perhaps that is the point. We must be fully grounded in our faith both individually and together.



This book was definitely thought provoking. But not about what I thought Zacharias's point was. I had a lot of thoughts about prayer. About Bible study. About outside perspective. Etc. My thoughts inspired by this book regarding entering the state of marriage?



1.) Surrender your life to God.

2.) Surrender your romance to God.

3.) Do not enter a relationship without God's consent.

4.) Make sure your parents are on board (hopefully that is an option)

5.) Keep the romance alive by doing the little things for each other.

6.) But remember, when the going gets tough, dedication is a major part of love.



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Cookbooks and following God's recipe

Here is a wall of text for those of you who missed me! :).

I'm sorry it has been a while.  I hope to remedy the posting droughts by properly refocusing my blog and posting what I feel like I should rather than over-analyzing everything.  So, from now on,  instead of feeling like every post has to be amazingly deep and profound, I will feel free to publish book reviews, quotes from books or articles, Bible verses from my readings that strike me for some reason, and, potentially, cooking updates!

I'm particularly excited about that last one.  While deliberating/fighting with God about what in the world I was going to do if I wasn't in school, He told me I was going to cook and bake cookies, particularly oatmeal raisin cookies.  In  case you did not know, oatmeal raisin cookies are evil.  Prior to God's voicing His plan in regards to this, I once got so angry at a batch of oatmeal raisin cookies that just weren't turning out (despite it being the exact same recipe that I had used before that had turned out wonderfully...) I reached into a 350 degree oven bare-handed to pull out a tray of said defective cookies.  So, yes, when God told me that I was going to be spending a lot of time with the most demonic baked good in existence, I became even less happy.  But when He told me that I could and should buy cookbooks, I brightened.  I love books.  A lot.  And I enjoy food.  I enjoy gardening and growing food, preparing it, cooking and baking it, talking about it, giving it to people, and eating it.  My family is like this, too.  We plan vacations around food.  We will find out about a restaurant and plan a vacation to the area, looking for other things to do while there (the buffet at Mrs. Yoder's Kitchen in Mt. Hope, OH is really good if you want some Amish food.  Nearby, there is the Walnut Creek Cheese Factory: a bulk food store with jellies, jams, and cheeses, too.  P. Graham Dunn is a nice place to stop on the way to the area.  We make this day trip at least once a year.).  

Anyway, I kind of forgot about buying cookbooks.  This was one type of book I didn't really know how to buy because the market is filled with so many different types and qualities.  So, I decided to make use of the Internet instead of physical books.  I began following blogs and became not the first person to discover Heidi Swanson of 101 Cookbooks.  As I became a dedicated follower, she announced the upcoming publishing of her new book Super Natural Every Day.  I was pendulous about purchasing it but eventually decided in favor of doing so.  Guess what?  It came today!  Guess what else?  Today started out as one of the roughest I have had in a long time!  So, I wasn't overly thrilled with its arrival and drug it inside along with the other large boxes from Amazon containing  our next few months supply of Izze drinks.

I was feeling frustrated with several people and with life in general.  Thus, I set about my day with a bad attitude.  As my frustration faded, I became more and more light-headed to the point I was seeing stars even after standing for a long period of time.  I lay down and rested for a bit, and that helped, so long as I didn't move any part of my body and stared straight at the ceiling.  I fought through it to get some food and lemon water.  At this point, my insightful boyfriend asked me via text message how I was doing and, upon receiving my answer, suggested I put on worship music and think about for what I was thankful.  Good advice.  I didn't want to do it, but after I finished my snack I did.  It morphed into a quiet worship session. I discovered many of my problems stemmed from a temporary state of rebellion.  I didn't realize I was in such a state.  At the point of writing this, I do not know what I was rebelling against, but now that I have come out of it, I realize I was.  My chosen attire for the day, the music I had been blaring, my thoughts, and my feelings were all negative and rebellious.

The hold broke, I no longer felt dizzy and weak, but quiet and joyful.  I grabbed the package containing my cookbook.  I felt excited once I got it in my hands, I opened it, and a great joy swept over me that I had to share in my little corner of the Internet.  During my time praying to God, I had complained yet again about how I didn't feel like how I was doing anything worthwhile--just sitting around at home doing nothing (why did You do this to me again?).  And I complained about my apparent inability to do anything outside the home without being forced into a recovery day.  What I consider a busy day is considered to be an easy one by most people ("well...I had to go to the store to pick up some stuff, go to the library to drop off books, and to the bank to make an ATM withdrawal.  Now I'm exhausted. No, I'm not sick: I've always been like this!  Seriously!").  I madly asked God why He made me "defective."  In hindsight, I find this to be funny in a sad way.  Here I was telling the perfect Being who made me that He did it wrongly--"God, You screwed up!"  But, He patiently told me that there was nothing wrong with me, that He made me to be a homebody so I could effectively minister there, no one is defective when living according to His plan, and that I should go open my cookbook so I could enjoy expanding my knowledge while working to improve my food ministry.  Now, I am going to warm up some supper and do just that.

Consistency?

Focus on the Family's program The Truth Project introduced some strong Christian authors I discovered I really like.  One of those authors is Ravi Zacharias.  I recently started his book The End of Reason: A Response to the New Atheists.  He writes in response to Sam Harris's Letter to a Christian Nation, which I have not read, but I imagine this book will make sense anyway.  I'm only a few pages into Zacharias's text, and I found this quote which says what I have often felt and observed.  I thought I would share it here.

His unvarnished hatred for things religious is embellished with strong language and illustrations designed to convince the world that Christians in particular really are buffoons or imbeciles for believing in God.  I have always found it fascinating how relativists who say they love the idea of tolerance ultimately reveal themselves to be among the most bigoted (14).

The best promotion for a certain ideal is consistency.  The ability to be consistent is also the mark of truth, but that is another post.  

Will do Works for____?

Lately, I have been contemplating why I try to be "good" and "moral."  My thoughts stemmed from several conversations I have had with people who do good things, yet are atheists.  In many of these cases, I looked at their lives and assumed they were Christians based off their actions.  They were honorable people, hard workers, and seemed to have a genuine concern about others. When I found out they weren't followers of Christ, I was initially surprised.  Typically, as I got to know them better, I realized I shouldn't have been surprised.  This has gotten me thinking.  Why do people do good things?  Some might say to promote the good of society.  Others might say because it is the right thing to do.  And others would say because their religion dictates it.

James 2:17, 26: "Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also." (in context)

Then my question returns to myself.  Why do I attempt to behave in a good way?

I would like to think my answer would be because it is proof of my faith living in me.  But how often is it that instead of simply doing what I know I have to do to be considered "good?"  If works are "proof" or "fruit" of my faith, shouldn't they be done without my thinking I should do them?  Shouldn't they come naturally?  But what about when I make myself do something good?   I suppose it is all about attitude.  If I do something I don't want want to do because I am trying to express Christ rather than make myself look good or mold myself into a better, more self-actualized, and societal being, I assume it would be an expression of faith rather than a selfish act.  But then, how does one go about doing something as an expression of Christ rather than dolefully saying "well, the Bible says I have to do it this way, so I guess I have to..."  Perhaps the latter is not such a bad thing initially if we are fighting sinful flesh with spiritual self-discipline.

I also suppose another main thing is motivation.  Is my desire to be "good" or to be "Christ-like?"  Am I trying to be shiny and pretty on the outside?  Or am I trying to express my soul that has been purged clean from the inside out?  If I am simply trying to be "good" because it is right and what people expect from me, that is wrong.  I need to stand on the foundation of Christ, and then my actions should follow as godly because I am desiring to stay on that foundation and follow the narrow halls built on it.

I cannot be good on my own.  In this life, perfection is out of the question.  But Christ washes away my sins and instills His Holy Spirit inside of me to guide me.  I should focus on following Christ rather than trying so hard to look like I am doing it right--that is when I fall the most anyway.

⁸ For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, ⁹ not of works, lest anyone should boast. ¹⁰ For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.

Ephesians 2:8-10 

The Point

The biblical perspective, where false teachers and and false teachings are concerned, is that we are to have compassion and love for those who are enmeshed in the teachings of the false prophets, but we are to vigorously oppose the teachings, with our primary objective the winning of the soul and not so much the argument.  It must never be forgotten that cultists are souls for whom Jesus Christ died...(pg. 23)

The Kingdom of the Cults: The Definitive Work on the Subject 

by Walter Martin, Ravi Zacharias, general editor. 

God has an interesting way of presenting currently relevant information to you.  I had a conversation about debating the morality of something with a non-Christian.  Then this popped up later in my reading.  It didn't apply to the situation exactly, but it said what I was trying to convey.  Coming up with the perfect argument (a "zinger") shouldn't be our goal, but pushing people to evaluate their position and hopefully seek a right relationship with Christ is what is important.  Debates can be fun and beneficial, but getting an agnostic to accept something like "abortion is wrong" won't matter much on Judgement Day.

Forgiveness (revised)

Note: I originally posted a version of this late last Sunday (a few minutes before my previous post). But I awoke with blogger's remorse and pulled it down because I felt it was too personal.  I think it is important I repost the ideas contained in it, though, because they are something that has been pressing on me again.  I've edited this somewhat to move it from "It's a couple hours past my bedtime, I've had a rough several days, I haven't slept well in days, and now I am inventing my own phrases," to more of a composed, thoughtful piece that I actually want people to read.  The same thoughts, Bible verses, and feelings are there.  They are just hopefully more readable.  Also, these feelings also aren't as raw at the moment, so I'm a bit more comfortable sharing them.

I've been having a rough time with oppression and loneliness lately.  I've also had trouble sleeping.  During my prayers [specifically last Sunday night], I began to think about a negative thought cycle in which I’ve engaged.  It was intensified after a dream I had a little over a week ago in which all of the people I have ever been close to appeared and (re)did something hurtful.  The emotional pain was quite intense.

I woke up in tears with this rolling through my head:

"How did these people hurt me so much?  Why did it hurt so badly?"

"Because you got close to them and let them get close to you."

"So every person I get close to will hurt me?"

"Yes.  So why bother with people? They will only hurt you.”

And it continued, but the path is relatively obvious.  I've had problems with this before, people do something hurtful, and immediately I think it is either an intentionally hurtful act or their plan all along was to hurt me (don’t you dare call me irrational! Just because I think people have nothing better to do than plot elaborate plans for hurting my feelings doesn't make me irrational!).  This works in almost a "he said, she heard" sort of way.  Bottom line: People will hurt me (I better not get to know them).  Friends move away (well, actually, they leave me.).  They have some inconsistency in their character (they were intentionally lying so when I got close, they could betray me.).  They say something hurtful (after all, I don't know why I convinced myself they actually cared).  They do something shouldn’t.  They don't do something they should (I obviously am not worth the effort to them).   If I hadn't gotten to know them, this wouldn't hurt.  I better not invest myself again.

Everyone has flaws.  Everyone is sinful.  People hurt each other because of this.  The Enemy wants to take advantage of this and leave people in despair.  However, we cannot simply give up on ever having a meaningful relationship with another person.  If we did that, we wouldn't have joy, either.  Our mantra would turn from “they mustn’t like me” to “why am I all alone?” We wouldn't have anyone to talk to when we are down and in need of encouragement.  We wouldn't have anyone to support and help.  God made us for companionship--we need a relationship with Him and with our fellow humans.  Relationships require forgiveness.

Letting go of the pain.  Stopping the constant replay of the painful event or action.  Forgiveness.  Yes, these are important things.  So many times have I resignedly said, "I'm done," in regards to friendships with people after a series of small offenses.  Thankfully, God is there to help me work through the pain and move from a begrudging "I forgave them because I have to, and that doesn't mean I have to have anything to do with them or work to restore our relationship to what it was before the offence occurred," to a healing "I forgive them because I want to, and now all is forgotten."  (That first stage of “forgiveness” sounds like a paraphrased Mrs. Bennet, “I’ll be civil to him/her on account of him/her being loved by God.  But no more than civil!”)

Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven." (Matthew 18:22)

I actually do not find that verse convicting, but actually helpful especially in light of Matthew 6:14-15.  Christ doesn't ask us to do something if He is not going to be there with us every step of the way.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Phil 4:8) 

Late Night Contemplations on Confidence

One of my favorite verses is found in the center of the Bible.  Psalm 118:8.  I do not have a favorite translation of it (which is strange), so I would recommend looking at this link to see several translations of it.

When I recall upon it, this is how I remember it:

"It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to put confidence in men."
(At one point, I thought for sure I had read "men" as "princes," which was something I really liked, but I have yet to find a translation that says that.)

This passage often applies to times when I'm feeling hurt by people, but especially when I feel lonely. 

When I am hurting, feeling alone, or wishing for a hug, this verse reminds me I have Christ.  He will never let me down and is always there to wrap me up in a comforting embrace.  He never lets go.

Afternote added February 12, 2011:  Last night I had a revelation! Two of my favorite verses are found in the center of the Bible.  Psalm 118:8 and Psalm 118:9.  Psalm 118:9 is "It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to put confidence in princes."  Hey, not all of us are perfect! :)  Especially at 12:30am. 

Proper Motives

This week was the start up of Focus on the Family's Truth Project at my church.  When I went through this program at another local church, I was very impressed by how God-inspired this program was and how much God worked in both my life and in the lives of my family while we worked through this program.  So, when the opportunity came for me to become a leader for the program, procure my own copy of The Truth Project, and start a small group of my own, I was very excited.  Unfortunately, I think I lost sight of the goal.  I went around telling people how wonderful this program was, how well it was done, and how much I liked it.  I was promoting it because it was a "good" thing.  I realized this, and promptly changed my approach.  "God will move you and challenge you through this program in a very real way."

A few weeks ago, I went shopping for books of a theological nature.  I looked for authors I had heard of from The Truth Project and also from friends.  I happily purchased some and also borrowed some from the library.  I eagerly dove into them once they arrived.  My intent, however, was not to grow/challenge my faith.  No, I wanted to acquire knowledge and that was it. I realized this, and have now refocused myself.  Growing my faith, not my knowledge base, is important.  Hopefully these book will challenge me, and through them, the authors will be able to convey something about God's nature I had not previously known.

So, I am working on this.  Not being good for the sake of goodness. Not learning so I can be "smart."  Not being part of something because it is "relevant."  But being focused on God, growing in Him, equipping myself to be used by Him, and learning to listen to His voice.

Breaking the Label (or should I say "Judgement") Machine

Recently I had this realization: I often find myself writing people off as damaged goods.  I look at their imperfections and surmise they will never "fit" in the Christian realm as anything more than a pew warmer and that I should remember them in prayer.  It is almost as though I write them off and do not encourage/challenge them to improve.  Even if God has helped a person leave his sins in the past, I tend to retain that "label" for him and discount any God-given abilities.  Quite frankly, I am limiting God's ability to save people from their sins and restore them to the lives He intended for them.  If I do not believe they are, or can be, a new creation, I really wonder why I bother praying for people with recurring sins in the first place!  If I exclude someone from an activity or do not offer him an activity simply because he is labelled "sinner," I have a lot more editing to do.  In fact, if the credentials are that of a non-sinner, no one would stand!  Christ redeems people and wipes away our sins when we repent and trust in Him.  So, if someone has truly repented, those sins no longer exist, and I certainly shouldn't limit or eliminate what God had done with my skewed perception.

Bottom Line:
God didn't intend for people to be flawed.  He did not create adulterers, liars, thieves, etc.  Sin corrupted.  Satan took his hold on God's perfect creation.

God created gifted people.  In Christ, our sins are absolved and our souls perfected.  We need to see people as God intended them to be and help direct and encourage them in fulfilling that purpose.  Not write them off as being "defective" because they have, or have had, "problems."

I am praying God will continue opening my eyes to situations in which I am doing this and that He will help me see people as He intended them to be seen.

(Oh, and from this post onward, I am going to restart being politically incorrect and use male pronouns when referring to a person of the human race unless he is already identified as female. Obviously I will not later refer to "Sue" as a "he" unless, of course, Johnny Cash is singing.)

A New Year Update

It has been a while, I know.  For the first two weeks of 2011, I didn't have wireless, so I was not truly able to post thoughts.  A lot has happened thus far this year, and I will share some the more notable events/awakenings now.  A more typical blog post will be coming soon, I promise.

1.)  I discovered I can live without Internet and actually am a lot more productive when I do not have the Internet drain option.   I tend to get caught up in rereading  an old email, Wave, or IM conversation and forget about the rest of life.  So, I am working to improve myself on that count.

2.)  God revealed His current plan for my life to me (yay!) and opened my eyes so I could see the benefits of it.  He wants me to be in my home, serving my parents (relationship building...it is hard), and learning in my favorite environment from my favorite avenue: books.  This will be a challenge for me, but I am praying for God to impart some of His grace to me.  One of my deepest desires is for my actions reflect a heart of justness and mercy.  I know I lack in the area of compassion and understanding--and patience, especially with those closest to me, so I hope to grow more in that area.

3.)  I am now a trained leader for Focus on the Family's Truth Project program and will potentially be leading the high school aged people and my church through it during the summer.  God really moves through this program, and I hope to facilitate an environment for these teens to grow in a way that will impact their lives in Christ forever.  

4.)  I am reading again and actually enjoying it!  Like Gladys Hunt, I recognized that I had forgotten how to read for the simple joy of reading.  And I know this was for multiple reasons.  Having to cram Shakespearean plays, C++ textbook chapters, Psychology sections, etc. caused me to avoid getting drawn into a good book because I knew how hard it would be to get out of it.  And then there were was The Painted Bird...which is enough said on the subject.  So, it has taken me a good year to let myself soak in and absorb a lovely story again.  And the plan from here is creating a long-term reading list (I am consulting www.thegreatbooks.com, Honey for a Teen's Heart, Invitation to the Classics, and my current collection of books) and setting tentative weekly reading goals.  I have a lot I want to learn about in both literary and non-fiction realms, and I hope to make a good dent in my reading goals this calendar year.  I'm going to finally read the classics I have always said I would read but never got around to reading!  (Suggestions for "unsung heroes" are welcome, of course.)

5.)  I am exploring starting up a home business.  I have business ideas I will share later if they flesh out into anything, but for now, my public library probably resents me.  I have 13 tomes waiting for me to pick up. :)  I love researching!

And one of the best things to have happened this New Year is I have awakened every day since the morning of January 7th (the day after Epiphany, how fitting) with a zeal, peace, confidence, and happiness I haven't experienced in a long time.  Being excited about life and having joy in the present and future is a very welcome blessing, indeed.