I do not have to do it alone...

What a crazy few weeks!  Two weeks ago, my dad had to have an emergency appendectomy, both of my aunts were out of town, so my mom and I were responsible for helping care for my grandma.  I have learned a lot during this time, mostly life lessons, and but a few funny things as well.

 Just because I can do it all by myself, doesn't mean I should.  Also, delegation is very different from sitting back and watching people do my work for me.

We'd planned a week ahead to have an ice cream social at my house to celebrate my good friend Charlotte.  It worked out that the party fell the day after Dad's surgery.  Because I had been at the ER and with my grandma Friday, I wasn't able to get as much of the cleaning done like I had wished.  But, because I was determined to do so, I spent several hours to get the house in order.  During this time, I had two offers for assistance.  I did not accept these offers, though, because I was determined to provide a party for everyone to enjoy. Why should my guests have to work?  So, I was rather tired by the time the party started and groaned audibly when I saw one of the guests brought Risk.  Fortunately, my sarcastic sense of humor kicked in to save my guests from embarrassment.
Application: When people offer help and the task at hand is easily divided, take them up on it.  If they didn't actually want their offer of help accepted, they won't offer next time!

The Holy Spirit is a very good cook!

When cooking, I frequently have people telling me to follow my instincts.  In general, this is good advice.  I can call on past experiences, knowledge about good flavor combinations, etc. to increase and improve my current dish's flavor profile.   Throughout my past weeks (were they really only two?) of cooking, I kept relying on a little voice that wasn't "me."  I'd want to add something more to a dish because it was seemingly flat, but I would not because that authoritative voice told me to hold back.  This meal would go over well, especially for the convalescing patient.  But, He advises on more than how to make good hospital food.  Yes, He even guides the making of smoothies and helps improve existing "go-to"/"signature" dishes.  My stove-top (rather than oven-baked) curry chicken, for instance, was the best I've ever made.  My instincts told me to put in a can of diced tomatoes and increase the chicken broth, but the voice said to just stick with coconut milk throughout the cooking process.  What an enjoyable cooking experience!  I partnered with God to make supper!  What a simple yet profound time.

When unsettled feelings and anxiousness take over, turn on some Third Day (or whatever is appropriate), grab a tissue if desired, and plop down supine.

  

"Your Love, Oh Lord," "King of Glory," and "Agnus Dei/Worthy" provided me with a good refocus time and got me through a day where I was convinced I was going to explode (which would have been messy and just another thing I'd have had to deal with...).  This was the most important lesson I (re)learned.  I'm not exactly sure it was, but I think it was Martin Luther, who would spend hours in prayer daily.  The more tasks he had to complete in the day, the more time he spent in prayer.  When I first heard this several years ago, my practical mind thought it strange.  Now I understand.  The more hectic a day will be, the more overwhelming a task seems, the more I need to make sure I spend time focused solely on God so I can go through my day partnered with Him and His peace.  I feel called to be a beacon of peace and tranquility.  I don't know how well I succeed at that normally.  However, I know I certainly, utterly fail when I figuratively, and somewhat literally, plow over people with an attitude of "don't even talk to me!  I have to get this, this, and this--oh, and don't forget this--done!"  

 "Your love, LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. Your righteousness is like the highest mountains, your justice like the great deep."

 Psalm 36:5-6a

I'll have a normal blog post soon. It's brewing, I just have to write it.

Unplanned: The Dramatic True Story of a Former Planned Parenthood Leader's Eye-Opening Journey across the Life Line by Abby Johnson

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


Rating: 3.5 stars

Plot (mild spoiler warning):

The subtitle for this book pretty much says it all. Abby Johnson started as a volunteer for Planned Parenthood. She had a great desire to help women, prevent them from getting in crisis situations, and to decrease the number of abortions. A recruiter working a Fair at Abby's college convinced Abby she would fulfill these desires by working with Planned Parenthood. As time progressed, Abby moved up the Planned Parenthood ladder until she was director the Planned Parenthood clinic where she started. After participating in an ultrasound-guided abortion, she saw abortion for what it is: the termination of a baby. She has several epiphanies and eventually crosses the literal and proverbial fence to seek help from the local pro-life chapter. And, that is where she is now.

My opinion:

The book was...good. It was engaging--I had a hard time putting it down. I rejoiced in Abby's enlightenment. However, I don't really know if this book is great by any means. It is an account of Abby's reflection. But I kept feeling like I was reading a drama. Perhaps I am too familiar with her story (I vaguely remember when the climax of this book happened). I do not discourage anyone from reading this book. It would be really good for people struggling with whether they are pro-life or pro-choice since Abby discusses both sides fairly. I also see radical pro-lifers (people who cannot understand how anyone can be pro-choice) benefiting from this book for the same reason. However, since the target audience for this book is the average pro-life Christian (I first heard about this book from Focus on the Family, then from Tony Perkins, and then from LifeWay Christian Books, and then Amazon picked up on me being a White, Anglo-Saxon Protestant), she is preaching to the choir.

Bottom line: good book, amazing story, but I feel like the marketing strategy is more to make money than to inspire people. Perhaps this book will get better with time and maybe after Abby has added a few chapters about what she's been doing since leaving Planned Parenthood.

This book did have a comforting Scripture reference in it:

It shall come to pass that before they call, I will answer; and while they are still speaking, I will hear. Isaiah 65:24






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Restful Promises

This ties in a bit with the previous one, but is distinct enough to warrant its own post.

But You, O Lord, are a shield for me, My glory and the One who lifts up my head.

I will meditate within my heart on my bed and be still.  You have put gladness in my heart.  I will both lie down in peace, and sleep; For you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.

Psalm 4:4b (paraphrase), 7a, 8

This mash-up of verses came to me earlier this year shortly after a few weeks of having the hardest time falling and staying asleep.  I was starting to improve when I stumbled across these.  Now I read them most nights, but especially when I start feeling uneasy.  I find comfort in the promise of these verses.  God is protecting me!  I will meditate upon Him in my heart.  Any sort of spiritual (or even physical) attack with be thwarted because God is the source of my protection.  Because of this, I can be like David--at peace upon my bed, meditating in my heart on the greatness of God, and falling asleep in the safety of His arms. 

They've Survived the Trials and are Now Reaching High in Praise

But You, O Lord, are a shield for me, My glory and the One who lifts up my head.

Psalm 3:3

As I took pictures of these spring flowers, most of them bulbs, I marveled that these plants had survived so many winters.  They survived freezing temperatures, a warm weather followed by a biting frost, and the current deluge.  Despite all the trials they've endured, they survived by God's provision and awakened this spring in their bright splendor.  While it is probably clichéd, I began to think about how I am like one of these flowers.  When going through trials, God provides a shield for me.  Whether I am feeling physical affliction, having a bad day (or week, or month...), or spiritually down, He is there.  He protects me, helps me brighten, and strengthens me.  Then, at the end of the struggle, I am able to hopefully bless others in ways I wouldn't have been able to without that experience.  They've lifted up their heads towards heaven in praise and glory of God, and, because of God's protection, I can too.

He is Risen!

He is risen indeed!  

(for some reason I keep typing "resin."  I suppose many representations of Him are...)


On this day in celebration of our Lord's resurrection, let us not forget to actually take a moment to contemplate and give thanks to God for what He has done!  Many people almost dread the day of Easter because they have to do so much and are busy to the point of distraction.  So, remember to pause from the preparations of your wonderful Easter dinner and the stresses of friends and family arrivals and thank the Lord and sing His praise for He is risen and has saved us from our sins so we can walk with Him.

Happy Resurrection Sunday!

Seeing the Bible in a New Light--Despite not Seeing/Hearing Philip Mantofa

I opened my Bible today to read the assigned chapter for this weeks homegroup.  I began reading the meaty Luke 15  (actually, I started with Luke 20 because I remembered incorrectly, but it all worked out because they tied in well together).  As I started the chapter, I was struck with a realization.  The Bible is God's love letter to His people!  I've heard something to this extent several times before, but today it struck me as real.  God is revealing His thoughts and character to me!  And He tells and shows His love for me, and gives me guidance, direction, and conviction when necessary.  I continued reading into chapter 16 and parts of 17 and realized I had some chores to get  done before I needed to leave. But, how could I walk away from God's Word--especially now that I see it in a new light?!  I skimmed a few more verses and set down my Bible.  While I emptied the dishwasher, I remembered I can take God with me! I have His Holy Spirit in me.  I can talk to and with Him.  And I can call upon memorized verses for encouragement, etc.  So, while time with my Bible is lovely and wonderful and necessary, I abide in Christ and abides Christ in me!

It is good to make new realizations and be reminded of old ones.

Ravi Zacharias's I, Isaac, Take Thee, Rebekah

I, Isaac, Take Thee, Rebekah: Moving from Romance to Lasting Love by Ravi Zacharias

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


Rating: 3.5 stars--I liked it, but it just was not as good as it should have been.



Generally Speaking: While working through Focus on the Family's The Truth Project, I became aquainted with Ravi Zacharias. I found him to be brilliant, intelligent, and insightful. I decided to rediscover the public library and borrow some books on a variety of subjects. I borrowed two by Zacharias and one edited by him. When I picked this one out, I was expecting it to be a commentary on Old Testament culture. When I got it home, I read the subtitle: "Moving from Romance to Lasting Love." Oh. I decided to read it since I had been contemplating reading some books on the subject of love and marriage anyway. So, I eagerly began reading this book...and was pretty much disappointed until I reached the second half.



My beef: I had hoped this book would enlighten me on the subject of how to grow a "romantic relationship" from one of mere attraction to one of lasting love. Except for a few quotable moments, the first three chapters of this book (it has 7) could be summarized into one sentence. "Marriage is more about your resolve to stick together than romantic feelings." I felt that Zacharias was saying it didn't matter who you married, or if you even liked the person, much less loved them. If you were willing to dedicate yourself to making it work, it would work no matter what. Now, this is not necessarily bad advice. If a person goes into marriage with the mindset it will be all sunshine and roses, they are just plain wrong. I'd like to think that my marriage to someone I loved would have a better chance than one with some random guy I just met on the street. But I digress. Zacharias does bring up the point how finding the favor of God your relationship is important. But he repeats the "all that matters is determination" mindset to the point of losing all his other points. Perhaps this focus is because he grew up in an Indian culture where arranged marriages are common (his marriage was not an arranged one, though). The dedication needed to have a successful marriage in that situation is great indeed! I imagine the Western view of lovestruck marriages with cherubs singing and puppies frolicing in meadows looks silly to him. Perhaps he felt we needed his point drilled into our heads. If that was is goal, he achieved it.



The Good Parts: After we got into the later chapters of the book (particularly the last two), it became apparant Zacharias does have a romantic bone in his body! He also dealt more with the actual romance of Rebekah and Isaac, drawing the parallels which I had waited for the whole book. He also included a lovely hymn at the end to reiterate his point about God being the ultimate one to consult in your relationship. Zacharias also talks about the things one should do in his or her life to prepare for marriage and to be ready for marriage and life: a prayer life, an ongoing personal Bible study, and being involved in a local church. But that was an odd thing about this book. For it supposed to be about love and marriage, there was a large focus on how to live a personal Christian life. Perhaps that is the point. We must be fully grounded in our faith both individually and together.



This book was definitely thought provoking. But not about what I thought Zacharias's point was. I had a lot of thoughts about prayer. About Bible study. About outside perspective. Etc. My thoughts inspired by this book regarding entering the state of marriage?



1.) Surrender your life to God.

2.) Surrender your romance to God.

3.) Do not enter a relationship without God's consent.

4.) Make sure your parents are on board (hopefully that is an option)

5.) Keep the romance alive by doing the little things for each other.

6.) But remember, when the going gets tough, dedication is a major part of love.



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Cookbooks and following God's recipe

Here is a wall of text for those of you who missed me! :).

I'm sorry it has been a while.  I hope to remedy the posting droughts by properly refocusing my blog and posting what I feel like I should rather than over-analyzing everything.  So, from now on,  instead of feeling like every post has to be amazingly deep and profound, I will feel free to publish book reviews, quotes from books or articles, Bible verses from my readings that strike me for some reason, and, potentially, cooking updates!

I'm particularly excited about that last one.  While deliberating/fighting with God about what in the world I was going to do if I wasn't in school, He told me I was going to cook and bake cookies, particularly oatmeal raisin cookies.  In  case you did not know, oatmeal raisin cookies are evil.  Prior to God's voicing His plan in regards to this, I once got so angry at a batch of oatmeal raisin cookies that just weren't turning out (despite it being the exact same recipe that I had used before that had turned out wonderfully...) I reached into a 350 degree oven bare-handed to pull out a tray of said defective cookies.  So, yes, when God told me that I was going to be spending a lot of time with the most demonic baked good in existence, I became even less happy.  But when He told me that I could and should buy cookbooks, I brightened.  I love books.  A lot.  And I enjoy food.  I enjoy gardening and growing food, preparing it, cooking and baking it, talking about it, giving it to people, and eating it.  My family is like this, too.  We plan vacations around food.  We will find out about a restaurant and plan a vacation to the area, looking for other things to do while there (the buffet at Mrs. Yoder's Kitchen in Mt. Hope, OH is really good if you want some Amish food.  Nearby, there is the Walnut Creek Cheese Factory: a bulk food store with jellies, jams, and cheeses, too.  P. Graham Dunn is a nice place to stop on the way to the area.  We make this day trip at least once a year.).  

Anyway, I kind of forgot about buying cookbooks.  This was one type of book I didn't really know how to buy because the market is filled with so many different types and qualities.  So, I decided to make use of the Internet instead of physical books.  I began following blogs and became not the first person to discover Heidi Swanson of 101 Cookbooks.  As I became a dedicated follower, she announced the upcoming publishing of her new book Super Natural Every Day.  I was pendulous about purchasing it but eventually decided in favor of doing so.  Guess what?  It came today!  Guess what else?  Today started out as one of the roughest I have had in a long time!  So, I wasn't overly thrilled with its arrival and drug it inside along with the other large boxes from Amazon containing  our next few months supply of Izze drinks.

I was feeling frustrated with several people and with life in general.  Thus, I set about my day with a bad attitude.  As my frustration faded, I became more and more light-headed to the point I was seeing stars even after standing for a long period of time.  I lay down and rested for a bit, and that helped, so long as I didn't move any part of my body and stared straight at the ceiling.  I fought through it to get some food and lemon water.  At this point, my insightful boyfriend asked me via text message how I was doing and, upon receiving my answer, suggested I put on worship music and think about for what I was thankful.  Good advice.  I didn't want to do it, but after I finished my snack I did.  It morphed into a quiet worship session. I discovered many of my problems stemmed from a temporary state of rebellion.  I didn't realize I was in such a state.  At the point of writing this, I do not know what I was rebelling against, but now that I have come out of it, I realize I was.  My chosen attire for the day, the music I had been blaring, my thoughts, and my feelings were all negative and rebellious.

The hold broke, I no longer felt dizzy and weak, but quiet and joyful.  I grabbed the package containing my cookbook.  I felt excited once I got it in my hands, I opened it, and a great joy swept over me that I had to share in my little corner of the Internet.  During my time praying to God, I had complained yet again about how I didn't feel like how I was doing anything worthwhile--just sitting around at home doing nothing (why did You do this to me again?).  And I complained about my apparent inability to do anything outside the home without being forced into a recovery day.  What I consider a busy day is considered to be an easy one by most people ("well...I had to go to the store to pick up some stuff, go to the library to drop off books, and to the bank to make an ATM withdrawal.  Now I'm exhausted. No, I'm not sick: I've always been like this!  Seriously!").  I madly asked God why He made me "defective."  In hindsight, I find this to be funny in a sad way.  Here I was telling the perfect Being who made me that He did it wrongly--"God, You screwed up!"  But, He patiently told me that there was nothing wrong with me, that He made me to be a homebody so I could effectively minister there, no one is defective when living according to His plan, and that I should go open my cookbook so I could enjoy expanding my knowledge while working to improve my food ministry.  Now, I am going to warm up some supper and do just that.

Consistency?

Focus on the Family's program The Truth Project introduced some strong Christian authors I discovered I really like.  One of those authors is Ravi Zacharias.  I recently started his book The End of Reason: A Response to the New Atheists.  He writes in response to Sam Harris's Letter to a Christian Nation, which I have not read, but I imagine this book will make sense anyway.  I'm only a few pages into Zacharias's text, and I found this quote which says what I have often felt and observed.  I thought I would share it here.

His unvarnished hatred for things religious is embellished with strong language and illustrations designed to convince the world that Christians in particular really are buffoons or imbeciles for believing in God.  I have always found it fascinating how relativists who say they love the idea of tolerance ultimately reveal themselves to be among the most bigoted (14).

The best promotion for a certain ideal is consistency.  The ability to be consistent is also the mark of truth, but that is another post.  

Will do Works for____?

Lately, I have been contemplating why I try to be "good" and "moral."  My thoughts stemmed from several conversations I have had with people who do good things, yet are atheists.  In many of these cases, I looked at their lives and assumed they were Christians based off their actions.  They were honorable people, hard workers, and seemed to have a genuine concern about others. When I found out they weren't followers of Christ, I was initially surprised.  Typically, as I got to know them better, I realized I shouldn't have been surprised.  This has gotten me thinking.  Why do people do good things?  Some might say to promote the good of society.  Others might say because it is the right thing to do.  And others would say because their religion dictates it.

James 2:17, 26: "Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also." (in context)

Then my question returns to myself.  Why do I attempt to behave in a good way?

I would like to think my answer would be because it is proof of my faith living in me.  But how often is it that instead of simply doing what I know I have to do to be considered "good?"  If works are "proof" or "fruit" of my faith, shouldn't they be done without my thinking I should do them?  Shouldn't they come naturally?  But what about when I make myself do something good?   I suppose it is all about attitude.  If I do something I don't want want to do because I am trying to express Christ rather than make myself look good or mold myself into a better, more self-actualized, and societal being, I assume it would be an expression of faith rather than a selfish act.  But then, how does one go about doing something as an expression of Christ rather than dolefully saying "well, the Bible says I have to do it this way, so I guess I have to..."  Perhaps the latter is not such a bad thing initially if we are fighting sinful flesh with spiritual self-discipline.

I also suppose another main thing is motivation.  Is my desire to be "good" or to be "Christ-like?"  Am I trying to be shiny and pretty on the outside?  Or am I trying to express my soul that has been purged clean from the inside out?  If I am simply trying to be "good" because it is right and what people expect from me, that is wrong.  I need to stand on the foundation of Christ, and then my actions should follow as godly because I am desiring to stay on that foundation and follow the narrow halls built on it.

I cannot be good on my own.  In this life, perfection is out of the question.  But Christ washes away my sins and instills His Holy Spirit inside of me to guide me.  I should focus on following Christ rather than trying so hard to look like I am doing it right--that is when I fall the most anyway.

⁸ For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, ⁹ not of works, lest anyone should boast. ¹⁰ For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.

Ephesians 2:8-10